Guiness Book of World Stupid

You can’t make this stuff up. I pulled into our local BJ’s gas station on a recent rainy morning. It was quite busy and I looked around for the shortest line to join, Seeing a woman in her early 20s who appeared to be finished fueling as she re-holstered the nozzle in the pump and returned to her car, I pulled in behind her, expecting to promptly be able to pull up and buy gas.  A car pulled in behind me, so I was now committed.

I sat and waited as she started her car and turned on her windshield wipers. And I sat. And I sat. A minute went by. Then two. Then three. Puzzlement changed to irritation and I flashed my lights. No response. Perhaps there was a problem?

It was pouring out, but I overcame my reluctance to get wet and decided to make sure she was OK.  I got out and walked up to her car.  She had heavily tinted windows and I couldn’t see in well, so I gently tapped on her window. It rolled down about 6 inches.

There she was, sitting in her car and talking on her cell phone.  Before I could say anything she pulled the phone away from her face, waved it at me, and said with surprising anger: “ What the f…? Can’t you see I’m on the phone?”

Mostly I think of a good answer 30 minutes later. Or the next day. Perhaps it was the rain that gave me clarity. 

I said with as pleasant a voice and disarming a smile as I could manage: “Sorry. Do you have any children?”

Obviously confused by my question, she answered: “No. Why?”

“Good. Please don’t. It would be bad for the gene pool.”

And I went back to my car and waited for her to pull away. 


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