For content intended as humor

The weather delay

Some of the best and most unexpected moments I’ve had in medicine have involved children.

Sitting on her mother’s lap while I elicited the story of her illness, this particular three year old had seemed relaxed, social and quite articulate. Taking a cue from how attached she seemed to be to Mom and her obvious unusual maturity for age, I tried to be clever when it came time for the exam. “Do you want your Mom to help you up onto the table so I can check your ears and lungs, or are you big and strong enough to do it yourself.”

The knee injury

The computer generated routing slip on the exam room door said he was there because of a knee injury. That turned out to be only partly true.

 

When I entered the room, he was sitting comfortably on the exam table. I introduced myself, we shook hands, and as I sat down at the computer to open the EHR to his chart, I started with my usual fairly open-ended question:

Me: So, what brings you in today and how can I help?

Him: I hurt my knee this past weekend. (Note: this was a Wednesday.)

Me: Tell me about it.

CPOE - for management

At a recent clinical staff meeting, a physician complained that the new requirement that clinicians enter all orders manually into the electronic record (CPOE) is slowing us down and causing errors. The IT and administrative staff were not the least sympathetic. Their message: it’s really not a big deal, it only takes an extra minute or two, and smart people like you should be able to master a simple skill like this.

Guiness Book of World Stupid

You can’t make this stuff up. I pulled into our local BJ’s gas station on a recent rainy morning. It was quite busy and I looked around for the shortest line to join, Seeing a woman in her early 20s who appeared to be finished fueling as she re-holstered the nozzle in the pump and returned to her car, I pulled in behind her, expecting to promptly be able to pull up and buy gas.  A car pulled in behind me, so I was now committed.

The sale (a metaphor involving chaps)

Every year when I brought my chain saw in to be serviced and have the blade sharpened, Reggie tried to get me to buy a set of chaps. They weren’t cheap, and, while I was not the least bit sanguine about the destructive power of the saw, I used it infrequently, only in good conditions, and with care. The chaps were a garish orange, and I always declined.  Reggie always shrugged, looked disgusted, and rang up my bill.

A few years ago, when he made his usual offer and I declined, he looked at me for a very long moment, and then said: