As a child, I looked forward to the infrequent family outings that involved a restaurant. As the eldest of three, it gave me a chance to strut my stuff in front of my sisters: I was allowed to order without much interference, so it was a rare opportunity to have a cheeseburger, fries and the most chocolate item available for dessert.
My parents sought out Howard Johnson’s. They were predictable, familiar, family friendly, and (at the time) ubiquitous. We loved pulling into the parking lot and seeing the orange roof:

One meal, in particular, stands out in my memory. We had nearly finished ordering, and as my mother started to order for my littlest sister, then around 5 as I recall, the waitress turned to face her youngest customer her and said: “And what would YOU like, young lady?” My sister’s eyes got big, and in breathless amazement she turned to our mother and said” “Mommy. She thinks I’m real.”
There is a lesson here: our patients feel more real (and better served) when we directly address them and encourage them to help solve the problem and make their own decisions:
Our patients are real. Their perceptions, observations, fears, plans and life circumstances are real. Like my littlest sister, our patients will feel more real and better served if we involve them in their care by asking questions and listening to the answers.